April 25, 2010

I WANT a BAND!!! puh...lease. puh, puh, puh please.

I am getting more and more frustrated with myself.  I have been attempting to watch what I eat- and in general making good choices.  I have been walking - granted it isn't miles at a time, but still... - I am doing it when I used to do nothing!  I weighed myself this morning and I have lost .7 lbs.  .7LBS!!!  WTF?
I need to know if I will be approved for surgery.  If I am - the date should be May 13th.  I want to know this week.  Not knowing is making me crazy... combined with my college graduation ... AND the end of college, this is too much for my little heart to handle.
On another note- I have decided not to hide the surgery... I am not "telling" people so to say, but I was telling someone about something funny on a test I had to take for my psych analysis and she asked why I had to do that.  I basically told her "I am looking at having a surgery this summer."  She is a nurse and said - oh, no need to say anything else.  I wonder if that means she didn't want to get too personal OR if she knew it was part of weight loss surgery application?
Also- my hubs and I had a big fight today.  It makes me sad.  I am looking for some sort of approval from him on how I look and he doesn't know what to say.  I hope I can get the surgery so I can just feel normal again... even average.  I am tired of looking at other people and always asking myself- "Is she bigger (or smaller) than me?"  If there is anything I miss about being thinner, it is not constantly thinking about my weight.
Hrumpfh... and its Sunday.  I dislike Sunday nights.  It means Monday is right around the corner. :(  Ah well.  One day closer to graduation I guess.


  1. Thanks for posting a comment on my blog. I will definitely keep my fingers crossed for you. Although I have to tell you, and it's not your fault, but every time I come across someone who hasn't been banded yet I think maybe, just maybe, I'll be getting banded before this person. Then I go to their blog and...nope, they've gotten their date and it's before mine. Gosh darn it. Oh well, just more info gathering and living vicariously I can do. Hope you get your approval soon. By the way, love your stress reduction kit. :-)

  2. I got here from Bonnie's blog. I am right where you are right now oh the waiting... It does nothing more than SUCK! I completely understand not being able to plan anything for myself without knowing, I think that this is the worst part. Everyone keeps telling me that approval will come...