On another note- I have decided not to hide the surgery... I am not "telling" people so to say, but I was telling someone about something funny on a test I had to take for my psych analysis and she asked why I had to do that. I basically told her "I am looking at having a surgery this summer." She is a nurse and said - oh, no need to say anything else. I wonder if that means she didn't want to get too personal OR if she knew it was part of weight loss surgery application?
Also- my hubs and I had a big fight today. It makes me sad. I am looking for some sort of approval from him on how I look and he doesn't know what to say. I hope I can get the surgery so I can just feel normal again... even average. I am tired of looking at other people and always asking myself- "Is she bigger (or smaller) than me?" If there is anything I miss about being thinner, it is not constantly thinking about my weight.
Hrumpfh... and its Sunday. I dislike Sunday nights. It means Monday is right around the corner. :( Ah well. One day closer to graduation I guess.
Chapter 38: This one is for me
5 weeks ago