March 10, 2010

Just blah-ging....

I can not figure out what is going on with me! I am just so blah right now. I cannot find the energy to do anything- I just want to sleep.
I had my sleep analysis last night and the guy said I didnt have one apnea moment. Im not suprised as I knew I didn't have the right symptoms, but I was kinda hoping it would answer for me why all of this is going on. The weight gain, the tiredness, everything.... My husband keeps saying its depression, but I don't like that answer. I mean, I dont have anything to be depressed about.
I cannot get an answer from the insurance company which is driving me crazy. I feel like I am chasing and chasing and chasing this thing that may not happen. I didn't used to care so much but now I have invested so much time and energy, And also hopes... What will I do if I cant qualify? Just keep getting bigger and giving up on life?
Just give me an answer!

March 2, 2010

Well, I haven't been on here because I went to meet with my surgeon and he said he highly doubted I would be ok'd for surgery. My regular dr ended up writing me a letter and now the woman in charge of insurance writing thinks that I will be ok. So who knows? I have no idea what to think. She is waiting on my psych eval. I will be so sad if I have put all of this time, and not to mention, MONEY - into this and it won't work. But I guess I will take it as a sign. If I am not ok'd for this- I will begin something else. At least I am pursueing some health concerns that have been bothering me for awhile. This also has put into perspective for me just how unhappy I am. I think this waiting, combined with way too much stress is causing me to even be unhappier.
I meet with the psychologist again on Friday soI am guessing I should know by next week- and if Im approved- be prepared for some blogging maddness to begin!!! :)