April 22, 2010

Realizing something...

I know I haven't mentioned it, but I am graduating from college in a couple weeks and it freaks me out.  Really freaks me out.  I am afraid.  I don't even know why.
I have been accepted into a Master's program for fall, so I am not even done with school, so it is something more.
I think I am used to being the loser.  I am used to not achieving things and being a let down to myself and those around me.  I have two weeks left and feel like I could fail.  Fifteen years of college to get a four year degree- and TWO weeks is feeling impossible.
So- what is wrong with me?  I am guessing that whatever this defeatist thing is- its probably got ALOT to do with my weight too. 
I am about as stressed as I have ever been- I have one big paper and one big project to finish- with a bunch of little projects to finish as well.  I can't get off the computer to save my life.  My eyes burn and I feel like an antisocial freak.  BUT, I have TWO weeks left. 
I wonder  if,  I mean when I graduate if a switch will turn in my brain?  Will I suddenly not be ok with being the black sheep in the family?  Will I think I am worth achieving more? 
Wow- I get one follower - and now I am so reflective. :)

5 comments:

  1. I freaked right before I graduated. It's a stressful time and the end of an era of sorts.

    Just breathe & finish strong, hun!

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  2. Thanks! :) Im trying. Hey, I saw that you used to live in MN?

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  3. Keep up the good fight. Change is hard. And congrats on your Masters program for the fall.

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  4. Yeah, congrats on the masters program. Hang in there - these two weeks seem like a whole decade but they will be over before you know it!

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  5. Wow- four followers! :) Thats enought to make me push through... :)

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